How Do You Get an Oatmeal Hull Unstuck?

This was originally posted on MySpace with comments following; I’m putting it on here because it was just one of those crazy things that happen – a Lucy Moment:

This is crazy. At this very moment I have an oatmeal hull stuck to the side of my tongue. I can’t get it to come up or go down. It’s further back than my teeth. If there is a corner on the tongue it’s on the corner. I’ve been messing with this for about 45 minutes now and am missing church this morning because of it. My husband said, “You’re not going?” I told him I thought it would be distracting to the preacher to see me on the back row with my head over to one side and my tongue kind’a hanging out or with me bent over with my head between my knees. And what if I started to gag? Again. So, he gets to explain to folks that I’m at home trying to get the oatmeal hull unstuck.

I’ve managed to get it to move maybe a little but it’s never better. It tickles my Eustachian tube sometimes. Must be on a nerve. After I tried gargling, drinking water, eating bread, eating a couple bites of my boiled egg and drinking a couple sips of coffee…..oh, and bending over, and poking about with my finger which only gags me, and muscular gyrations of the throat that I didn’t know were possible, my husband asked if I wanted to go to the emergency room. Sure. Let’s go spend a few hundred dollars to get the oatmeal hull out of my head. I could be a chapter in the ER doc’s book, too. I’m sure I’ll be in the pastor’s book. You know, the Now I’ve Heard it All book.

Well, there probably aren’t enough digestive juices in my throat to finish this thing off any time soon. I’m tired of gagging. I’ve laughed so hard, I’ve cried but that didn’t help. Maybe I should Google “oatmeal hull tongue” and see if there is any help for this anywhere. Help……..please…..

Mandy:
what is an oatmeal hull?I would make a suggestion if only I knew what it was.

Me:
Well, maybe I should call it an oat hull. They grind up oats to make oatmeal and the hard part of the grain….uh, the husk, got mixed in with the good stuff and I swallowed it. Only partially. I always say you never know what’s going to happen when you get up in the morning……

<<<Then later after it came unstuck….after almost 4 hours>>>>>>

Me:

Hey! It’s unstuck!! I swallowed a few sips of coffee while looking up and it moved a little bit. Then I tried egg nog and it didn’t help. I gave up and was wetting my hair for the second time today so I can fix it and maybe look halfway decent and while I was bent over the sink I swallowed and the oat hull went down! Yipee

Anatomica:
Glad to hear that you finally swallowed it! I just took an anatomy test on head and neck anatomy, and I’ve surmised that you must’ve gotten it stuck in the space behind the tongue called the vallecula. There are actually two of them, one on each side; valleculae. The two muscles it got stuck in between were your hyoglossal and your mylohyoid, and there’s a nerve called the hypoglossal nerve that innervates all the muscles of the tongue (except one), which was being stimulated during the entire ordeal. That is certainly annoying, and quite unique. It would’ve been impossible for you to reach it on your own, so thankfully gravity worked its course. 🙂

Me:
Good heavens!! I knew muscles were doing things they have never done before but I never thought about their names! I thought this whole thing was funny – although very annoying – but now I’m about to fall out of my chair laughing…..

 

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Last night at the grocery store the second customer ahead of me in the check out line said she only came to the store to pick up milk. She spent $422 including $80 for cigarettes. On the way out to our truck my husband asked me, “How much was that lady’s bill?” and I told him and he said that was what he thought and, “she only went in for milk??” and he said he’s glad he’s not married to her. Well, so am I! I said something about impulse control problems, maybe?

I told him she reminded me of a lady who was ahead of us at the store a few weeks ago. This lady had a stack of coupons. Not 10 or 15, but a LOT. Her bill was $200-something after all the coupons were taken off. The ticket was several feet longer than I am tall. The checker kept folding and folding as she gathered it up to give it to her. And the lady was telling us about good deals she got on shirts for her husband and other things, too, just a few days before. I wondered if her husband needed all those shirts and if you could even walk through her house. I wondered if she was really happy. Really.

We went to a hobby store after the grocery store and on the parking lot a man in a small pick up truck drove up and asked if we had “just a few dollars.” He said he just gassed up his truck and spent nearly all his money on gas and then he saw that he needs a new radiator hose really bad. The one he had wouldn’t make it to where he said he was going. He said the hose costs $10 and he only had $4. A lot of thoughts were going through my head all at once. I could see both his hands and if he was going to try to rob me he’d have to reach down to grab a gun, I have the advantage because I’m not confined by being in a truck and I could run, his truck wasn’t in the greatest shape and may need more than just a hose, the place is crawling with cops in unmarked vehicles and on rooftops watching for people who are breaking into cars to steal purses and packages, if they see him driving around asking people for money he’s gonna’ have a bigger problem. And of course, I wondered if the story was true, especially since he seemed a bit shaky. I didn’t know if he needed a radiator hose or drug rehab. I gave him some money and it was a little more than enough for what he said he needed and as he was saying thank you and Merry Christmas and everything I thought he was going to cry.

Maybe the man doesn’t have a drug problem. Maybe he is married to someone like the first two ladies who spends every dime they have and then some. Or maybe both and that’s his excuse for doing drugs. I just wonder though. We really have to be aware of what we think and feel and how we try to make things inside of us feel better. And if any of us looks down on people we see who aren’t handling things very well – well, we are just forgetting how similar we all really are deep down.

A Weird Government Healthcare Situation

I heard the funniest thing today. A lady in Great Britain had some kind of physical problems that put her in a wheelchair. She had been disabled for something like 16 years if I remember right. She got the equivalent of about $1,200 a month in support from the government based on her medical condition.

Well, the lady was prayed for and healed and didn’t need the wheelchair or the government support anymore. Now, here’s a wierd example of the ineptitude of government healthcare. It took several months for her to get it through their heads that she no longer needed assistance.

She finally went to a doctor – a government employee in the fine system of government healthcare – who said he didn’t understand how her condition changed but he managed to get the unnecessary support to stop. He said he didn’t know why it was so hard for her to get OFF the government’s list. He guessed the computer didn’t have a button for “miracle”.

Maybe the Best Advice I’ve Ever Been Given

Years ago a pastor said people are always wanting to know what to do in certain situations. It was like they wanted God to just tell them things directly. He said a lot of our questions could be answered if we would read the Book of Proverbs. He said there are 31 chapters and most months have 30 days. He told us we could start at any time with the chapter that matches the date and read one chapter a day for months and months and after awhile it would sink in and the wisdom would become instinctive.

From time to time as the years have passed I have read Proverbs like this. If I have any wisdom at all, that’s where it came from. Something will happen and a verse from Proverbs pops into my head. That pastor sure gave some good advice.