PCP Parkway

There is a street that I drive down to go almost anywhere when I leave my house. It’s four lanes wide and at least 40 mph of nuttiness. I call it PCP Parkway, and I’ve seen some crazy things on this street.

Last week we pulled up to a stop light and I wondered why the truck in front of me was so far back from the light? We were in the right lane and he was about four car lengths from the intersection, with only one car in front of him. There were three cars in the left lane.  When the light changed I noticed that the front wheels on the third car in the left lane were turned to the right like he was going to change lanes. He didn’t. He weaved into the right lane, then went back to the left, then back to the right as the car in front of him did the same stupid trick, except his timing was the opposite. I guess they think that makes them cool.  All three of these cars were staying really close to each other. I knew then why the fellow in front of me hung back. No one in either lane wanted to get near these nuts. When they came to a shopping center they all three turned into it.

That reminded me of the day I saw two cars come off a side street onto this street. I watched as one got on one side of the street and the other got on the other side, both going in the same direction. They began to do the weaving trick from one side of the street to the other, across four lanes, missing cars that were coming toward them. I was going in the same direction and I sure kept my distance.

Of course, I’ve seen a race or two. And it’s not all gangsters, or gangster wannabes who do the crazy things. Impatience will destroy a car. My youngest son and I were coming home from the grocery store one day. There were several cars and a van traveling in the opposite direction from us, and a Viper in back kept changing lanes trying to get around the slower ones. The car in the right lane was turning right and the impatient Viper driver gunned it when he went around them. What he couldn’t see was a van in the left lane that had stopped to turn left. Just when everyone was about to clear out and he wouldn’t have had any slow drivers in front of him, he crashed into the back of the van. The impact shoved the van forward and we could see what happened to the car. The hood of that Viper popped open and we watched parts fly out. It really did look like it came apart in slow mo. There were two people in the van. (One had a broken tooth and the other broke a finger.) My son was sickened by what we saw. He said, “That guy just destroyed that car! How come God gave that guy a Viper? He destroyed it! If God gave me a Viper, I’d take care of it; I wouldn’t tear it up!” (He was about 19 years old and still getting used the fact that life isn’t fair by our standards.) The Viper driver was dressed in his office work clothes – looked like he had been to lunch at the Country Club. Some of his friends who passed by saw the mess and stopped to check on him.

There are several houses on PCP Parkway that have fenced yards and fences get knocked down regularly. Some of them even have metal posts in the ground to stop wayward drivers from tearing down the fence, but it’s not always effective. They can knock those posts down, too.

Back in January of this year, a car with three people in it hit the curb and ran through a chain link fence in one yard and then took down a wooden fence in the next yard. There was a man who was walking on the side of the road and they also ran over him and killed him. There were two people in the front seat who both ran away. The guy in the back seat crawled out a window and said he didn’t know who had been driving. He had been drinking and smoking PCP. The car was reported stolen.

Any time I think about going someplace just for the fun of it, I think about having to drive down this stupid street that I call PCP Parkway.

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